Free kisses for the brave
by LovingPillow
Summary: Hermione may have been drunk when she started offering kisses to the boys of Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, and Slytherin. She swore she had never been more embarrassed in her life than seeing guys attracted to her all because of a kiss, or a snog.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Hermione may have been drunk when she started offering kisses to the boys of Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, and Slytherin. She swore she had never been more embarrassed in her life than seeing guys attracted to her all because of a kiss, or a snog.**

**I was bored, scrolling through Blaise and Hermione fics, then thought about this plot. The wonders of reading and getting new ideas that are probably old, attempted, but challenging to write.**

**Hermione is in her fourth year, just saying so you don't get confused.**

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><p>"Who spiked her pumpkin juice?" Harry questioned as he twist his head to narrowly avoid Hermione's soft lips, but that didn't stop her from giving him a kiss on the cheek. She gave a sigh and smiled cheerfully when she greeted Fred and George (or George and Fred). Both of them were holding back their grins as they leaned down and waited for her to kiss them. It didn't take long before their cheeks were smothered by plump lips. George shared a grin with his twin as they thanked the lady for her kisses. Hermione waved bye to them and she turned back to face Ron, who was eyeing her like she was some crazy girl. Harry on the other hand was patting her head while muttering about killing the person who spiked her drink. "My pumpkin juice is poisoned? Why, no wonder it tasted weird. I feel all giddy. I think I'll visit Luna!" Hermione announced as she hopped up and bounced over to Ravenclaw's table. Harry stood up to follow her, but Ron told him to eat before anything (despite the dangers Hermione could get into while she was drunk, Harry grumbled as he reluctantly sat down).<p>

Hermione greeted Luna while she sat by herself, away from the others in her house. "Lo Lovegood, it's a fine day today, don't you think?" Hermione questioned as Luna stared at her smiling lightly. "The nargles don't affect you, but you seem to be surrounded by them." Luna commented as her eyes curiously glanced over Hermione's head. Several nargles were floating around Hermione and she was fascinated by the large amount. Hermione nodded and she flicked one away, "Apparently, they were attracted to my spiked pumpkin juice. How do you get rid of them? They're annoying." Hermione said as she crossed her arms over her chest (which you couldn't see existed until she did so) and gave a pout. Luna smiled brightly and she offered Hermione a seat beside her. They began conversing about whatnots whilst occasionally flicking something away from themselves.

By the time Harry reached their side, Hermione was already saying bye to her new friend. She turned around and bumped into Michael Corner. He was tall, so she had to look up to apologize. "You're handsome." Hermione chirped and she giggled as she kissed him bye. She reached Harry's side and whistled as he dragged her back to Gryffindor's table.

"Blimey, you're a kissing maniac when you're drunk!" Ron said as if fascinated by the discovery. Harry glared at him as he forced Hermione to sit beside Neville, and ordered her to not move anywhere else. Hermione smiled innocently as she saluted 'papa Harry'. "What happened?" Neville questioned as he looked between Hermione, Harry and Ron. Harry pointed towards the empty goblet and gave a sigh, "Someone spiked her pumpkin juice and she drank it." he provided. Before either of them could warn Neville, Hermione had gave him a kiss right on his forehead. She sat back with a smile and started playing with her food. Harry apologize to the blushing Neville as he lectured Hermione on table manners. "No, you do not play with your food. Yes, you must eat the carrots. No, you do not get anymore pumpkin juice." Harry said, ignoring how most of the Gryffindor's were staring at him in an emotion akin to awe.

Hermione was unhappy the rest of breakfast. Harry was smug as he pat her head and told her to be a good girl.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary: Hermione may have been drunk when she started offering kisses to the boys of Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, and Slytherin. She swore she had never been more embarrassed in her life than seeing guys attracted to her all because of a kiss, or a snog.**

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><p>Hermione was in the library when an unexpected Slytherin slithered in. "I heard you've been giving free kisses, Granger." Adrian Pucey was his name, and he was leaning down towards Hermione as he smirked. "Where's my kiss?" He questioned and heard her giggle before he felt warm lips descend upon his forehead. <em>Forehead?<em> Adrian blinked in confusion as her lips left him. He stepped back and stumbled a parting before leaving the library, all the while wondering why she had kissed his forehead instead of what he offered her; his lips. Hermione returned to her book and she giggled while flipping the pages of a book she wasn't reading. Somehow, the spike in her pumpkin juice from breakfast was still in her system so she was still drunk.

"There you are Mione!" Harry hissed as he pulled Hermione up from the ground. She was sitting against uncharted bookshelves to hide from grouchy librarians and other students, but he could still find her. "You've haven't troubled anyone, have you?" He questioned and placed a hand on her mouth to stop her attempts of kissing him. Instead of waiting for a reply, he dragged her out of the library and back into their common room.

Hermione was sitting on the floor humming while cross-legged as Harry sat on the couch beside Ron, who was playing wizards chess by himself. "Where was she?" Ron asked as he chanced a glance towards his best friend. "Library." Harry answered tiredly and then greeted the twins and their friend, Lee Jordan.

Fred and George were grinning widely as they greeted Hermione, Harry and Ron. "Is she still drunk?" Lee questioned but decided to find out for himself as he sat down in front of Hermione, who was playing with Harry's sweater (Harry was wearing another shirt underneath so no eye candy for his fans). She looked up shortly and greeted him with an award-winning smile, then went back to Harry's sweater. "Is a sweater more interesting than me?" Lee asked as if offended. The twins laughed at this and even Harry was chuckling. Hermione on the other hand wasn't playing attention but she did look up when she heard her name. "Why don't you kiss him so he feels better?" Fred asked as he pointed towards the ego-broken Lee. Hermione tilt her head as if considering her options before she leaned forward to kiss him on the forehead. He looked up and grinned as her lips came close to his own, but George shoved him sideways so that Hermione's lips kissed his cheek. Lee glared at the twins as they smugly grinned. He turned to thank Hermione for kissing him all better, then stood up and left with the twins laughing beside him.

Ron stared at Hermione as if she were crazy. "Why don't I get a kiss?" he grumbled when Hermione went back to playing with Harry's sweater. Harry didn't hear him as he was too busy chuckling at Lee's disappointment.

Hermione wistfully sighed as she rubbed her cheek against the sweater. She thought it was extremely cuddly and soft and warm, just like Harry when he was huggable. She yawned quietly and tugged the hem of Harry's shirt. Harry nodded and he lifted Hermione from the floor before taking his sweater back, only to give it back (even though it was his sweater) since Hermione looked like she didn't want to part. Ron called out a goodnight as Hermione slowly dragged her feet up the stairs. Harry could only watch his sweater and his best friend disappear behind the wall. With a sigh, he went back to the couch.

Ron was jealous the entire night.

Harry didn't notice. He was wondering when he would get his sweater back, and what would happen when Hermione woke up sober. He mentally winced before falling asleep, only to dream about soft pink lips kissing his palm, then trailing up his wrist to his shoulder then to his neck and his cheek before landing right on his lips.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary: Hermione may have been drunk when she started offering kisses to the boys of Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor and Slytherin. She swore she had never been more embarrassed in her life than seeing guys attracted to her all because of a kiss, or a snog.**

**AN: Alright! They're all out of character. This should have been known since you've read the summary, right, right?**

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><p>Hermione woke with a headache. She was wondering what the time was since she couldn't hear her roommates chatter about nonsense. "Why do I have Harry's sweater…?" Hermione questioned when she sat up, only to feel the soft and cozy sweater fall against her lap. She couldn't recall anything that happened yesterday, especially after she drank her pumpkin juice. "Ugh…my head feels heavy." Hermione groaned and she slowly pushed a pulse of magic <strong>(AN: kinda mixing Naruto with Harry Potter xD, hope you all forgive me here)<strong> into her head, to untangle the nerves. With a relieved sigh, Hermione got out of bed and went to get ready for her breakfast.

"Morning Mione. You look awful!" Harry said as he greeted his best friend in a cheery tune. "You feeling alright?" He asked after Hermione covered her ear and winced. "Your voice is loud." Hermione complained as she spoke softly, too quiet for anyone to hear but Harry. "What happened yesterday?" She then asked when she uncovered her ear. Harry looked at her as if amused and she really felt like she wouldn't like the news. "What do you remember?" Harry questioned and Hermione's response was that she remembered drinking her pumpkin juice and then everything went hazy – as if she were in some dream.

"Long story short, your pumpkin juice was spiked. Ron was fascinated that you became a kissing maniac, after all, you kissed me on the cheek, you even smothered George and Fred with kisses on their cheeks. After that, you ditched us to sit with Luna at Ravenclaw's table. I was about to go after you but Ron stopped me, so when I finished my food, I went to drag you back (but then you bumped into this Ravenclaw and you kissed him on the cheek) to our table. I made you sit beside Neville so that you wouldn't go anywhere, but then you kissed him on the forehead (the forehead, really?) and I lectured you about eating your carrots. Nothing else happened in breakfast. You were grumpy though." Harry said and took a deep breath before continuing, "After dinner, I found you in the library (Could you believe Pucey bumped into me as I made my way into the library? I never knew Slytherins could read) and dragged you back to the common room. You then took my sweater. A while into the day, the twins with their friend (You remember Jordan?) showed up. Jordan asked for a kiss but you ignored him in favour of playing with my sweater (you must like my sweater, you weren't even listening until you heard your name). The twins said something and you leaned over to kiss Jordan on his forehead, but he looked up and just as you were about to kiss him, one of the twins shoved him aside so that your lips would land on his cheek. They left laughing at Jordan's clear disappointment and then you went back to playing with my sweater. After a few minutes of watching you nuzzling my sweater, you gave a quiet yawn and told me to help you stand up. You then went up to your room with my sweater, which you wouldn't let go of…is my sweater really that interesting?" Harry grinned as he watched Hermione's emotions play across her face with every word that came from his lips.

"Wow…how did I…why didn't you just bind me in my room so I wouldn't embarrass myself?" Hermione questioned as she sat down on the couch, afraid that she wouldn't be able to stand up after hearing what she had done yesterday. _Whoever spiked my pumpkin juice better be sorry._ She thought and thanked Harry for the conjured glass of water.

On a side note, Harry's mind was exploring the unexplored realm of binding Hermione in her room, but he washed those images out with horrendous images of Ron and Snape making out.

When they went to breakfast without Ron (something about him still sleeping), Hermione allowed Harry to grab a plate of food for herself and himself. "Eat. I took notes from our classes yesterday so you can look them over after you finish eating." He said and Hermione thanked him with a grateful hug. When she pulled away, Harry's cheeks were bright pink but he turned his head aside so that she wouldn't see. Hermione happily ate her breakfast and then started on reading the notes of the classes they shared. She was grateful that he had worked on writing neater, because she could understand every word he'd written.

Hermione looked up when someone greeted her. "The nargles are avoiding you today." It was Luna, and she was smiling brightly. Hermione felt her mind spin as a scene of her talking to said third year appeared before her. She remembered seeing several small creatures flying around her while buzzing about something in another language. _Oh, so they are real._ "I believe it's because I didn't drink any spiked pumpkin juice." Hermione responded as she scooted over so that Luna could sit beside her. Luna seemed surprised but she accepted and they began talking about whatever they could relate to, causing Harry to shake his head in amusement.

"What's Loony doing here?"

Hermione looked up from her conversation with the now silent girl, and glared at Ron. "_Luna_ is here because I invited her to sit here. She's my friend, and if you don't like her, you can sit elsewhere. Harry, Neville, Dean and Seamus aren't complaining, why should you?" Hermione hissed out and she returned to conversing with Luna, despite the latter's hesitation.

Ron could only stare with raised eyebrows as he slid into the bench beside Harry. "What'd I say?" He whispered in confusion.

Harry only shook his head in silent laughter.

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><p>Hermione cursed herself for pairing up with Neville, as she had little time to shield herself from the exploding cauldron.<p>

"Longbottom, Granger, explain the mess you have caused." Professor Snape demanded, after he dismissed the rest of the students.

"It's…just…a second difference…sir." Hermione coughed, waving the polluted air around. And oddly enough, it tasted like alcohol mixed inside pumpkin juice. _Oh joy, I'm starting to see nargles again._ She thought, brushing her bangs aside as she stood up with Neville's help.

"Detention with Filch, Longbottom." Severus announced, shooing the boy away. Looking down, he crossed his arms. "I would have given you a detention, Miss Granger. However, seeing as this is your first offense, I will let you off with a warning. The next time I assign the class a potion to brew, I suggest partnering with someone more knowledgeable." He said, then dismissed her.

When dinner arrived, Hermione found herself sitting beside Luna, smiling when the girl looked up in joy. "The nargles returned." She said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Oh? But you didn't drink spiked pumpkin juice, I don't smell it." Luna frowned.

"Failed potion, it was the fumes." Hermione explained, as she thanked the third year for passing her mashed potatoes. "I don't think I'll be kissing anyone this time." She mused, having recalled Harry's recollection of the past day.

"Pity." Luna sighed, whilst she bit into her pancakes.

Hermione snorted, shaking her head at the odd girl. "It was mortifying hearing what I did. Do you think the others have forgotten?" She asked suddenly, as her eyes widened in hope.

"Not likely." Luna answered, smiling as the fourth year gulped her pumpkin juice whole. _Oh dear, I believe that one was spiked._ She thought, mentally clapping in anticipation for what came next.

The nargles flew around buzzing.

"Hermione, who spiked your pumpkin juice?!" Harry asked in outrage, when the girl returned giggling behind her hands while Luna led her to a seat at the Gryffindor table.

"No wonder it tasted odd." Hermione giggled.

"Sit. Don't you dare move. You are not allowed to kiss anyone, and I do mean it Hermione." Harry ordered, glaring at the girl who pouted.

"Is she drunk?" Dean asked in weariness, as he eyed Hermione with a sense of foreboding. "Is she inclined to violence when she's drunk? I'd gladly change seats with someone if she is." He said.

"She's a kissing maniac when she's drunk." Ron explained through the chewing of his food.

Seamus looked up, "A kissing maniac you say? Why, I ought to see this for myself." He grinned, turning to Hermione who was playing with her carrots. "Lass, will ye give this lad a kiss?" He asked, joking around. When she moved away to smile at him, he felt his cheeks flush red.

"At least being kissed on the nose is better than being kissed on the forehead." Neville piped up, coughing into his fist as the others turned to look at him.

"At least you're even kissed." Ron grumbled, but no one heard him.

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><p>Humming, Hermione sat in the corner of the library.<p>

"I'd like another kiss, Granger." Adrian demanded, still ruffled over the kiss on his forehead. He had been offering his lips dammit!

"Kiss? Kiss!" Hermione laughed, lifting her hands to cup Adrian's cheeks, pulling him down so that she could give him a kiss on the nose.

Frowning, Adrian walked away, feeling the warmth of her lips still on his nose.

"Hermione, can you imagine Pucey visiting the library two days in a row?" Harry asked, walking up to his best friend.

Nodding, Hermione giggled, holding her hands over her lips.

"Well then, let's go." Harry said, helping Hermione up from the ground, her book forgotten.

"Nose kiss!" Hermione giggled, thinking back to the baffled look on Adrian's face.

Harry rolled his eyes, leading the drunk girl back to the Gryffindor tower. He really had to find the culprits giving her spike pumpkin juice. Hermione has to stop giving out kisses, especially when there will be boys who would take advantage of her being drunk.


End file.
